Monday, February 05, 2007

Openly Maintaining Secret Lives


Coughing coughing clicking cracking winking cringing oops relaxing, but said like a prayer, by slipping spouses everywhere. Does "irrational" mean "unjustified" and if, so, will you grant me just this one fear? Circle one and if you circle yes, I'll bounce my tits for you every time I find myself alone in a room with you. Sound like a deal? Like a best laid plan? Poor old Tommy's gonna be seeing red and I could never get used to that like a man can. "Blood splatter," she sputtered to her Rorshocked sneezes; too squalid not to shower and too scared not to starve. Sounds worse than it is but it does taste like Egypt in my mouth and just because I still have to carry on without carrying on doesn't mean that I won the immunity idol. She don't got what you got but you're trying to say that I don't got what you got? Tell it to Chico and explain that I didn't come simply because I am the consummate slacker and, hey, I need those calves, even if I spend most of my best hours splayed out supine; supple, stained, sated. Time to shout out!

Listen up, Pioneer: I am the best in the tri-county area and my grasp on value theory is as strong as your grasp on reality is weak.

Pay close attention, Cash Buyer: Even when I'm nursing a panic attack in its infancy, I will continue to let my brains go to my head, but, don't give me a hard time about it because, either way, you're getting what you want.

Lookey here, Tamiflu Cowboy: I am not a physician so get your own fucking prescription, but I will suggest that you get rested up for the showdown at the D.C.A.P Corral because I may have more to lose than you do but that, maybe by definition, means I have more to fight for.

Hear this, my Medicated Co-Pilot On Auto-Pilot: I had one for you, too, but it all came out wrong, like whispering "I love you," when you really feel like screaming it and how will I ever know you are speaking to me if you don't address me directly?

I do not assume that I am loved.

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It goes like this:

"What does that mean?"

"What does what mean?"

"Your title - 'Openly Maintaining Secret Lives'."

"What do half of your titles mean?"