LOL

Stay signed in, the fuck do I care?

There is no side you're on, moron, and what you say you want is never close to the truth.  This is all only making a case against an understanding of evolution that implies a positive notion of progress, and, frankly, I see more evidence of a sadistic pig-fucker pulling divine, discrete math strings.  Probs going to get a lot of G-ewww-gle hits for that turn of phrase, so, my darling readers, please don't misunderstand me: this is not a plea for unity, it is a polemic against humanity.  And Thanksgiving.

You think ants have Left ant/Right ant, white ant/black ant, poor ant/rich ant, ugly ant/pretty ant, happy ant/sad ant, Muslim ant/Christian ant?  Get the fuck out.  I double dare you, Marc Summers style, to name one measure by which we might be the most successful species.  Invasivity?  Tool-making?  I'll say.  Self-destructiveness?  Except we aren't just self-destructive; we're going to take this whole motherfucker down with us.  LOL @ Mars.  Yeah, that's the ticket, buddy.  I'll take Get "Lit" for $200, Alex.  And we all know what THAT means.

The problem with is humans is that we view everything through a lens of linearity: time marches forward, x causes y, we are making progress, kids!, wait, no we are regressing!, wait no!, hang on, let me snap an instawhatsappfacegram for the ride!  Be sure to let go of the bar and put both hands way, way up; it's funner that way!  We can blame our brains and dicks and ovaries, it's fine!  We can't step back far enough to see the parabolic contours, as we spiral back down again and again, again, and backwards and forwards, too, hitting the sides all the way down, with a crash, bang, boom, cha-ching, ouch, ow, hey! mind your own business!  And even if we could, would we care?  Stop kidding yourselves: P-E Dump is just the asshole truck that parked in the middle of the road so no one can get around, except at the edges, like the way our wasted water works: you don't have to toe the line but you do have to tiptoe!  You can arrange the words "nature," "sequence" and "action" and "of" in any permutation and language you wish and still get the same nonsense result, which, I am sorry to tell you, is actually the joke.  So, take your heil-mary-pass-the-gravy and shove it indecently far up my breathtakingly evolved asshole.  Because, hey, free anal!  Courtesy of Boaty McBoatface.

The problem with Thanksgiving is turkey.  No one likes it, and if you do, you can get the fuck out.  And take your disgusting ass Christmas goose with you.